It is not every guy that has the charisma to be loved at first sight. No matter how much we try to paint it, the truth is that most ladies will never love a particular guy or some particular set of guys just because these guys walked up to them and expressed them. No matter how these guys try to express themselves, they will never win the heart of their intended partner. They can't even make any single impact at just that spot.
Why is it so? Why does this happen to some particular set of guys?
In actual sense, guys often tagged as 'good guys' often fall into this domain. They always have a lot to give. They are sincerely and genuinely in love with the person they are confessing their love to, but they just can't convince that person to accept them. In fact, it isn't just an issue with convincing the person, even when they try as hard as they can, it seems not to be working. The person they are trying to talk into falling for them is not taking any of it. In some situation, they later discover that that same person started dating someone else, someone that came even months after they already confessed their love to the lady.
Some people just don't have the charisma to be loved immediately. Some people don't have enough vibes to make a lady fall for them immediately. Some times, the truth is that they are the exact opposite of whom the lady they are interested in, ever envisaged to be in a relationship with. Guys like this may have some of the following issues:
1. They may be dull: Dull here means they don't seem to have a strong drive towards what they want. They seem not to be convinced or better-still, they act or show not to be conviced of what they are after. The manner with which they go after the lady doesn't in anyway show to what extent they need her. It doesn't to a great extent show the degree of how much they are into her.
2. They might be shy: Guys of this nature might be the shy type. They can't look straight into the lady's eyes and tell her how much they are into her. Some times, eye contacts are very important in communication. The eyes says a lot, but these set of people may end up forgetting everything they have to say if they maintain steady eyes contact. In fact, having an eye contact with that lady they are trying to convince into accepting them is very uncomfortable for them. This now results in them communicating straight way without knowing the angle to twist their pattern of communication.
3. They may not be good dressers: This might be the main reason these ladies they are into don't pick interest in them immediately. There is no lady that has fantasies of dating someone that doesn't know how to dress charmingly. The problem is not that these guys are not properly dressed, their mode of dressing just don't look smart to these ladies. The fact that they have never thought of themselves being into a relationship with someone looking that way, it will be very difficult to get them just immediately.
4. They are gentle: Guys that fall into this category are mostly gentle guys. They are the type that are very conscious of everything they say. They don't want to hurt the lady. They don't want to make the lady feel offended; because they are too careful with words, it becomes difficult to say the right words at the right time.
5. They are mainly good guys: Ladies of these days hardly fall for guys that look like good guys. The good ones that were able to convince a lady over a short period of time might have had or displayed some qualities of bad boys.
6. They can't express themselves very well: Sometimes, after talking to the lady, the lady only gets to know of their intention from their actions. They don't really express themselves very well. Even when they say the point, they fail to convey it in a way that will make impact.
7. They might be proud: Yes, this might be rare, but it sure shows in some or very few guys under this category. These ones know their worth. Despite their shortcomings, they know they deserve to be with the lady, so, this makes them proud. Those here might not fall into most of the qualities listed above. They may not be shy, and won't have issue with eye contacts. Their pride will be their downfall, coupled with other few above listed reasons. One thing to note about those that fall here is that they will never make a true lover.
One fact to note is that when a lady falls for guys like this, it's often for real. It doesn't come that fast because these guys lack what it takes to win the heart of these ladies immediately.
Some things are part of some people. Some behaviors are the temperamental built of some people. We can't change them. Even when we can, it posses great difficulty. If a guy finds himself into this category, there are things he should always have at the back of his mind if he wants to approach a lady. Or better-still, there are some guidelines he should follow. Some of them are as follow:
1. Become friends first: Why not try to make her your friend first? One of the reasons love relationships that started this way are often for real is because they often start from friendship. If they become your friend, it means they have accepted you to a great extent in their lives. At this point it may not take too much difficulty to accept you as a lover. That you are now friends doesn't mean they must love you, but it offers you more advantage.
2. Make them more comfortable with you: This will be more possible if you become friends.
3. Don't be too fast: The journey of a thousand mile started in a day. Be slow and steady, but don't be too slow so another person doesn't stand in your way.
4. Money cannot buy true love: Don't try to use money to gain your way into their heart. Be mindful of how you spend on them. One question you must always ask before spending on them is 'are you spending on them because you want to date them or are you spending because they are your friends?' Don't just spend on a woman continuously because you want to date her. Spend because you want to, and because it is necessary.
5. Be real: I repeat, be real! Don't cut your coat above your size. Don't raise the bar where it will be too high for you. Try and be yourself. Don't try to be whom you are not. Don't try to give what you can't afford. Don't try to claim what you are not. It will do you no good. Even when they start loving you later, it will be the beginning of your breakup.
6. Don't be ambiguous: Ambiguity in disposition will spoil everything for you. Take for example, you are into someone and trying to make her love you, but you have another female friend whom you keep acting as if you have feelings for her. This will spoil everything for you, especially if that lady you are trying to convince to date you is aware of it.
7. Try and improve on your shortcomings: When you become friends with them, chances are that you will get to know what is a turn off for them. This will help you improve on yourself. It's not a must that you will change to suit anyone, but you must know that most times, love works with compromising on certain things. If there are things that are necessary to be changed, then they should be changed.
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