Women At The Bad End

I was about sleeping when my phone rang. It was about 11:00 pm and I sluggishly picked up the phone. Seeing who the caller was made me sober and I braced myself before answering the call.

I knew all was not well for her to have called me at that time of the night.

"Dave I'm finished", that was all she kept repeating inbetween sobs. It took a lot of effort to calm her down and hear what was "finishing" her.

Her name is Ifeoma and she was my bosom friend's girlfriend. They met during our first year in the tertiary institution. Her mom owned a restaurant inside the school where we usually eat back then. They got talking and before long, started off a relationship. We lived off the benevolence of their relationship while in school.

My friend Emeka (pseudonym) had no sponsors, he relied basically on exams runs and other campus activities for survival. Meeting Ifeoma softened his struggle as she practically saw to all his financial needs as well as moral support and copulative activities.

That was the eighth year of their relationship.

After we graduated, It took Emeka sometime to secure an employment and during this period, he was entirely Ifeoma's responsibility. Luckily, an ICT company employed him two years back and he's evidently doing well for himself.

"Dave Emeka said we don't belong to the same class. That he feels embarrassed whenever his friends and colleagues ask about me. That an MSc holder should not be moving with and ordinary SSCE holder. He said he can't continue with the relationship and he'll pay for compensation if I  want".

While she was crying and listing all he said, I was lost in thought. I know almost everything about them and their relationship. I know what role she played in seeing Emeka through school. I know he wouldn't have attained this height if she wasn't there. I know she made him. Most of all I know she should be getting a "THANK YOU" not a heartbreak.

But there she was crying out her eyes for the man she built, the love of her life, the very essence of her struggles, the man she gave all she is and has.

I cried bitterly, the feeling of guilt enveloped me. I failed her. At some point I noticed she was a means to an end for Emeka, I noticed he didn't love her like he professed, but I didn't advice her. Rather I confronted my friend who assured me that all was well and I believed him. Now look at where that has brought us.

Remembering her and all she went through following the devastating heartbreak made me see reasons to advise ladies.

Dear ladies, don't expend all your energy, time and resources on building a man. While you work on his betterment, work on yourself also and improve so you'd be the woman he'd want when he's arrived his destination. Don't be blinded by love to the extent of losing yourself in an effort to make him better. Take time to evaluate who you are building to ascertain if he is aligning with your expectations.

Do this and save yourself from unnecessary pains and heartbreaks.

Men, pick one or two from this.