CAESAR'S CIRCUIT

Help me out here, Caesar...

I am the daughter of a pastor, and I am in a relationship with this 'born again' guy that goes to one of the popular pentecostal churches in Nigeria (Name of Church deleted). He had asked me to marry him, though I am not ready for marriage now, but that's not the problem. 

His mother is dead, and he is giving me a condition that I will have to stay with his dad for some years, as soon as I marry him. He said his dad is lonely and needs someone to help him with house activities. That's not all. 

He also said I must stop wearing earings, making up, and that I will have to adapt to the wedding gown approved by his church, and that I must start going to his church, if I must marry him. He had been my first boyfriend, he is the only lover I have ever known, please advise me Caesar because I am confused.

My response:

My sister, run!
Run!
Run!
Is he marrying you as a wife or a slave to his father? Can't he get a maid to stay with his father? This is a very stupid and baseless condition. How can a man that claims to love you, marry you, and still keep you away, against your own wish, when he can actually keep you close to himself with ease? 

Also, he looks like an authoritarian that is accountable to his family. An authoritarian will turn you to a prisoner, your opinion will never count. As long as it's marriage, everyone's opinion counts. 

Inclusively, his family will always be the ones to decide what happens in your marriage. I wouldn't say you shouldn't go to the same church with whomever you marry, but not in this way, you don't force someone to believe in what you believe. 

You have been wearing earings all your life, and suddenly someone comes out from god damned where, and trys to force you to stop wearing earings, and even stop making up. Love is not a military operation. You should do these only if you want to, not because someone is forcing you to. 

Marriage shouldn't destroy your happiness, it should make you happy. Please my dear, he might be your first and only lover, there are people out there that will respect your values. 

This dude is seeing a marriage proposal as doing a favour to you, he will cage you and make life miserable for you. Marriage should be done when you are ready, you don't just marry because someone is forcing you to marry. 

Take my advise and let him go. He is only but your first lover, another person will soon blow your mind, just give it a try. 

(send in your own love questions to 'anslemcaesar@gmail.com').